This Company Doesn’t Want Your Money

On August 9, 2022 past customers of Cards Against Humanity received an email telling them they no longer want their money.

After receiving one of these emails, I went to their website to verify it’s legitimacy because it seemed insane to tell customers they suck and that CAH doesn’t care if they lose business.

Below you will find a copy of the email, screen shots of their website along with links, and other details.

First, lets look at their crazy-ass email with the subject line: Your State Sucks

Dear horrible friends, Earlier this year, we put some new packs into production:
[pack names removed
But while they were being printed, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and basically half the states wasted no time turning themselves into dystopian forced-birth hellscapes. It’s fucking awful. 

If you live in one of those Republican dystopias, we don’t need your money. So we’re donating 100% of profits from orders to those states — AL, AR, AZ, FL, GA, ID, IN, KY, LA, MO, MS, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, WI, WV, and WY — to the National Network of Abortion Funds. We’re also donating $100,000 on our own to start.

Hopefully that list doesn’t get any longer, but if more states decide to descend into theocracy, we’ll add them to the list and continue losing money.

– Cards Against Humanity

P.S. We also wanted to know what the fuck people in those states were thinking, so we asked them a few questions. You will unfortunately believe what we found.

In this email, the company is telling anyone who lives in the states mentioned that they can simply not buy their product and, if a purchase is made, proceeds will be donated. Why would someone you just got done insulting want to give you money that you will donate to an organization you’re using to tell them how bad they are?

If you live in one of those Republican dystopias, we don’t need your money.

No company should insult their customers let alone swear in an email sent to them. There is no doubt that CAH believes there are more people in other states to keep them afloat. I’m wondering if they sent a similar email to people in those states so they are aware of their inappropriate interactions with others. Do they believe all of their customers in New York, or Illinois, or California agree with them?

At some point, I believe they will delete the website page that goes with this email because someone, somewhere, at some point will express disagreement in such a loud voice that they will eventually tuck their tail and remove it.

In this first screenshot you will find the links leading to the insulting pages at the top in the pink banner. Notice how they call certain states ‘forced-birth Republican hellholes’.

In the next two screenshots, we see exactly what they think of anyone who happens to live in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

That’s 22 states they are telling to go to hell.

In this next set of screenshots, they are claiming to have conducted a poll themselves along with Dynata between July 24 and July 30, 2022 (a total of 7 days) wherein they apparently called people living in the twenty-two states they are ‘flipping off’. At the bottom of the web page there is a link to their “full dataset” which is a zip file. Based on the way they are addressing their customers, I’m not inclined to download anything from their site.

One question to ponder as you read through the questions they asked unsuspecting respondents is, based on how they are addressing people in their email, what is the likelihood they were rude and yelled at a few people when they answered ‘incorrectly’?

One more thing before you get started down the trail of insanity, many of the questions they asked people have nothing to do with abortion or are far enough removed from the subject that their conclusion is inaccurate and far reaching.

Regarding #1: the average person does not walk around thinking about abortions all the time like so many of these radicals do.

Regarding #2: there is a way for the people to change this if that is what they want. That’s the point of sending Roe vs Wade back to the states.

Regarding #3: I’m sure someone out there will download their zip file and find out exactly what data they collected. If this poll is legit, I would like to point something out. That percentage is about the same amount of people who felt Elvis was alive for decades after his death.

Also, 7% vs the 43% and 50% mentioned, is irrelevant.

Regarding #4: Fun fact… wanting to have sex with anyone, anywhere, and as often as possible is a personal choice that has consequences. Do it… don’t do it… your choice. It’s irrelevant to abortion unless you’re saying that everyone having casual sex is being dumb about it.

Regarding #5: What the actual F! This has nothing to do with abortion unless they are saying that prayer in school or the ability to read a Bible or any other text is somehow making it so people can’t have the casual sex they mentioned above which then leads to pregnancy they want to end rather than wear a condom. What the F does Iran have to do with this at all? Oh, I know… they want us to get back together with Iran and have a nuclear deal, right? I’m sure that somehow works it’s way back to Roe vs Wade.

Regarding #6: I bet you a pile of cash that men in forced-kill-a-life states also have no clue about ectopic pregnancy. It’s obvious a woman is more likely to know about this especially if she had done any research into possibly getting pregnant. This question is irrelevant.

Regarding #7: Really? Come on man… give me a break! I’m very interested in how this question was asked. But, if this is a true outcome of the question then I agree… WTF. Again, not really relevant to Roe vs Wade. People think stupid shit all the time including that it’s a good idea to insult past customers so they won’t be future customers.

Regarding #8: So what!! Why was this even a question asked in relation to the Supreme Court decision? They only reason many of these questions were asked was for the sheer hope that people would answer incorrectly or stupidly. This has nothing to do with anything. Men are not the ones to ask because they can’t get pregnant.

Let me say that again… men cannot get pregnant.

Regarding #9: Are you telling me that people in forced-kill-a-life states would have done better? Just curious why they didn’t expand their research. Here’s the thing… being able to point out a uterus on a drawing is not a thing anyone must be able to do unless they are in the medical field. Their last comment of ‘no wonder they have a problem with casual sex’ is simply a stab at sexuality and their assertion that if a person cannot point out the clitoris, then they must be doing it wrong.

Cards Against Humanity should focus more on ending sex trafficking rather than clitoris geography.

The one thing I can truly agree with in this ridiculous thing is the part where they remind us all to vote. Everyone should vote and my suggestion is to NEVER vote for a democrat no matter what. They are the cause of pain, sorrow, poverty, crime, corruption, the overwhelming amount of fentanyl coming into our country, and the overrunning of our cities by people crossing our border illegally while encouraged by the current regime. The Dems want destruction, they want everyone fighting, and they want everything to burn.

Vote like your life depends on it because it truly does.

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