The Mind of an Abuser

The filth that is found within the minds of serial abusers as well as the disgusting thoughts of those who want to control and whip the innocent into believing they are nothing, is much easier to find today than in the last century.

The act of elevating themselves above anyone who does not think like they do is found in just a few words printed on a computer or phone screen. The words follow the abused wherever they go and push them into submission or withdrawal.

In the past, we heard of these wrong doers in the newspaper or on the evening news when someone was arrested. We would dive into the lives of an abuser or the abused in movies or novels. We could learn about true life serial abusers or criminals in history books or documentaries.

Today, real living abusers and manipulators swirl around the heads of others who dare to step into the limelight by saying the “wrong thing” even for a second.

Where are they found? You guessed it; social media.


Years ago, people could meet online in forums and communities where most acted with dignity and treated each other with respect and caring. Today’s internet is filled with Social Media sites wherein people are made to feel sub-human. They are called out for not conforming to the way the group thinks a proper person should feel or act.
See also Group Think.

It compares quite nicely to the act of one person continually making another person feel like dirt; keeping them in their place and never letting them feel anything beyond shame.

In today’s social media world, it’s not one person harming another; it’s multiple people ganging up. Someone might make a comment the group does not like, and several will attack that one person. The group will repost whatever the One posted with horrible, nasty comments while calling on their friends to join the assault.

It doesn’t matter if the day before they were all best buds or believed the same thing. One wrong step and it’s full on warfare. Today, Social Media Gangs are looked upon as the majority of the population when in fact, they do not represent civilized people living in the real world. They are not the majority in thought or in quantity.

There are several issues with this type of on-line community.

There is no way a person can agree with everyone about every subject at all times. It’s not humanly possible. So, if someone agrees with 90% of what the social media masses believe, they will still be crucified based on the remaining 10% until such time they fully assimilate.

As more and more people leave the well-known social media site to find other platforms, I am left to wonder if the abandoned sites will learn a lesson in how to deal with the bullies living freely in their midst. They ban some people based on criteria that seems to flow with the need of the site itself rather than the basic understanding of treating each other with respect.

The site owners use their own personal and political beliefs and their own definitions of proper conduct against anyone that does not fall in line with these criteria. Yes, the site is theirs and, yes, it is a company that can make up their own rules. But when a site manipulates those same rules to satisfy themselves and move along an agenda while also allowing bullies to reside on their site, they become the enabler; the host of hostility and the justifier of that hostility.


The bullies living on their sites are then empowered to do as they please because obviously they are in the right and they are the righteous.

At the same time, they get angry when those they bully move on to someplace new. The bullies despise people who run away from the conflict or suddenly decide they will no longer allow themselves to be abused.

That is what this is. Those that stay and live with the attacks are much like the victim of domestic abuse. They hate it and they don’t want to be there, but they are afraid to leave or can’t break away from the abuse thinking somehow they deserve it or have been made to feel like they deserve it.

No one deserves abuse; physical, mental, psychological, or any other type. It doesn’t matter if it’s in person or online.

We talk about cyber bullying of children in school and how we must stop it and protect them from it, but we aren’t setting a very good example. Adults are on these social media sites attacking and belittling anyone who does not “fall in line” and quite honestly, they have no idea if the person is 14 or 94.

And sadly, many don’t care.

They get off on bullying and figuratively punching others into submission. It makes me wonder what they do in their real lives and how they deal with people in person. Are they abusive or are they abused?

Perhaps they are psychopaths. With the advent of the internet which brought about chat rooms and social media, it has also brought out the worse in people. They can hide behind anonymous screen names or, if they make a big enough name for themselves, let their true identity out while still lurking behind a keyboard. Quite frankly, I’m waiting for the anti- psychopath shaming campaign.

“I can say whatever I want because my friends will defend me and it’s not like anyone knows where I live anyway”. 1) they are not your friends 2) cyber bullies find people and harass them in real life 3) your ‘friends’ will turn on you soon enough. Remember, true psychopaths don’t like other psychopaths.

The internet has allowed people to tell the world what they really think and found a safe space in that world where it’s okay to harass, victimize, and put a strangle hold on free speech. Their safe space is not safe for those with opposing thoughts.

In other words, there is no such thing as a safe space.

Bullies crave attention by either their victims or fellow bullies. The group can and will elevate them to stardom or put them above the newest member to a place of respect of those who are not respectful. Keep in mind, they will and do eat their own. It’s sickening and only growing worse.

In line with this reasoning there is a question that comes to mind. What happens when the abused, the victims, leave these social media sites and find another place to reside?

Will they be able to avoid doing the same thing done to them when people on the new site don’t agree with them? What happens when someone appears that they believe is trying to break into their new haven and create yet another firepit of abuse? Will they attack and become the abusers?

The life of a bully, a manipulator of those they find weaker than themselves, is never so on display as it is within the world of Social Media.

The solution; leave and let the filth fester within itself while you go about your real-world life. Enjoy what is happening outside in your neighborhood or back yard. Find your family and friends again and play games or just chat about life.

The problem with leaving social media sites, honestly, is that much in our lives is now being based upon these vial places. Governments are reaction to perceived threats and are empowered by those on social media agreeing with the elimination of opposing views through the ultimate restrictions on freedom and the enacting of new laws.

The existence of freedom-killers who believe they will not be restricted is why abandoning these sites completely is difficult and not entirely advisable. Freedom fighters must remain to keep a watchful eye on what the true extremists are trying to do to the civilized person.

Restrict, destroy, and control. That is their goal.

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4 Responses to The Mind of an Abuser

  1. Manologal says:

    The abandoned sites will not learn a lesson because they are also bullies. They have shown hypocrisy in who they choose to sensor. There is no interest in having a discussion or learning from other points of view; it appears they only want to hear the same ideas repeated back to them. Then how can they be wrong when everyone in their tiny circle agrees with them? Our society is morphing into a place where different ideas and approaches are no longer welcome and people must conform or they will be punished; if it sounds familiar it’s because it’s communism.
    I’ve heard people say the bullying and violence doesn’t affect them. Does that mean it’s not a problem? How long do you turn your back and then one day notice how much bigger it has become? Is it still not affecting you? Does it need to affect your life for it to be a problem?

    • Just Jill says:

      Many of the social media sites are a bit cesspool of disgust and hypocrisy. And you’re right… they have no interest in having a discussion with anyone unless they agree 100%. We have become a very detached society of right and wrong. Violence is everywhere in our movies and tv shows and we have grown so numb to it that when it happens in real life, we feel nothing. People don’t realize that when a life ends, it’s literally gone forever. They have somehow convinced themselves that there is a ‘re-start’ button and all is well; as if what happens to others isn’t really happening? It’s too easy to be an asshole online and shrug it off as unimportant.

  2. April Larson says:

    Spot on and I’m afraid we’re just at the beginning of this ocean of bullying, censorship and dehumanization.

    • Just Jill says:

      It’s definitely in a full tilt ramp up, isn’t it. The Left goes on and on about being against bullying and how they stand up for the little guy. Yet some of the biggest bullies out there sit on social media encouraged by them.

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