We went on our first cruise this year. I got a bit sea sick the first day and then it took over a week to get my land legs back once I was home. That could be the end of my story but there actually is more to this.
Best part of the cruise? Discovering how people can get along no matter what their background. The worst part was watching a lady receive CPR and not make it. Obviously, it was worse for her than for me but it was very disturbing and an up close and personal reminder that we are mortal. I’m not going to focus on the worst part but instead go back to the best part.
There is a great deal of the word transgender and gender mentioned in social media these days. It fills up news channels and blogs. These two subjects would not have made headlines even ten years ago, at least not to the degree we see them now.
I do not personally care what other people do in their free time so long as it does not negatively impact me or my family. That seems to be what most people say and feel. There are several people who don’t care if gay people get married or not, they don’t care if a man dresses like a woman, or if a person wants to say they are a man when they are genetically a woman. The part that people object to is when it’s forced upon them.
Businesses are forced to create things for gay couples even if it goes against their beliefs. We are told that if a man says he’s a woman today, he’s allowed in the women’s bathroom. There is a long list of things we must accept and, not only accept them, but declare them to be good and normal. We must tell the world that we are okay with things and then we must prove it.
So that is the backstory of some hot button stories these days. One must realize that these types of issues, when made out to be grand and elaborate, create stereotypes within the minds of every individual who hears about them. In many instances, those stereotypes already exist based upon what is personally seen or what is seen in movies and documentaries.
Side note: Hollywood has created much of the stereotypes that reside in our minds on numerous subjects. Hollywood has created or enhanced discrimination to the point that some people don’t realize why they feel what they feel. Call it indoctrination or subliminal messaging, call it whatever you want but try to find a newly made movie that is free of all discrimination. Conflict is a major aspect of storytelling and discrimination is a conflict that is an easy go-to for Hollywood these days.
Now we come to my experience on the cruise ship. There were a great number of men on the ship dressed like women. Mostly in dresses and high heels wearing a great deal of makeup. Whether you think this is okay or not, seeing someone dressed in a way that doesn’t, at first glance, appear to be what they would typically wear, does catch your eye. What one does upon seeing them is different from person to person.
There were two in particular that I saw on a regular basis. It was married couple who dressed identical almost the entire trip. They wore identical dresses when they went out to dinner and even during the day when they were walking around the ship. Admittedly, I giggled a bit but mostly because they were ‘twinsies’. It seemed a bit silly to me but I honestly didn’t care what they wore or the fact they wanted to dress exactly alike.
They were on two of our excursions which allowed us a chance to get to know them a little. My husband talked with the man (John) at some earlier point during the trip while I was off doing something else. On the snorkeling excursion, we sat next to them and they picked up where they left off and started talking about how many guns they owned.
I was immediately surprised. This is where the stereotyping comes into play.
Somewhere in the back of my mind it seemed odd that two people dressed like identical women, where one was clearly a man, would not agree with gun ownership. I’ve asked myself why I would think something like this and it comes back to believing that most “seem” to be liberal and therefore Democrat and therefore anti-gun.
Right? Guess not.
Not only do they own guns and have a large safe to keep them in, they both teach gun safety classes for adults and children. They do this while living in a very liberal state and remain huge supporters of gun ownership!
We never asked him why he dresses the way he does, instead he told us things that gave insight without forcing us to accept anything. He merely mentioned how hard it is to find men’s tennis shoes in his size and especially high heels for when he, and I quote, dresses as a drag queen. We agreed that would be difficult and continued talking about life and where they lived along with sharing a bit about ourselves.
The moral of the story? You don’t know what a person is like until you interact with them face-to-face. Say hello and start a conversation about something around you. Talk about the weather, the traffic, the closest holiday, the place you are standing, or anything else that is an obvious conversation piece. Don’t ask why the person does what they do before getting to know them. If you do, it will seem as if you’re attacking them. Imagine how you would react if a stranger immediately questioned you.
If my husband hadn’t started a casual conversation with him and just let him talk, they would never have known they had a similar interest. Some people are not receptive of strangers talking to them, they are suspicious, but eventually you will find the person who is looking to make a friend and we can all use more friends these days.
This post was originally seen on Alexandria (aleksandreia.com).
